How to Overcome Toxic Habits that Sabotage Success.
Habits shape the reality that we know to be true but often go unnoticed. Flying under the radar our habits, whether good or bad, rule the day. They will either push us in a direction we do not wish to go or will help us along the road to success.
When we have mindfully practiced good habits by creating a pattern in the way we should go, we will enjoy the fruit of right living. If we set our minds and life to autopilot we will find ourselves in a rut that is very difficult to pull out of.
As humans we are creatures of habit. We live our days according to patterns we have set in place overtime. These patterns have such a tight grip on our reality that they start to control our circumstances, the way we think about our circumstances and our response to our circumstances. If we are unaware of our habits, we will live in a constant state of captivity to our poor choices and our circumstances. Our habits shape our reality for the good or bad.
The problem with bad habits is that once they start to control us we begin to live as a victim to the environment we created while feeling powerless to change.
Not all bad habits are toxic.
Toxic habits are formed when we begin to have toxic thoughts about our circumstances. Then we begin to live in accordance with our thoughts about these circumstances. Instead of consulting the truth we act in agreement to our thoughts, letting toxic habits shape our reality into something less than desirable. Some people will say, “you have your truth and I have my truth”. But the reality is that truth is something that is immovable.
It is a stationary, timeless existence that we can measure life by.
If truth changes according to whims of individual lives, then how can we measure what is then good or bad? What is a good habit and what is a bad habit? If there is not a constant set in place to gain perspective against then we will be unable to see the degree of growth or change that is necessary. How will we grow or find a better way of doing things? Truth is necessary for improving our well-being and affecting positive change around us for the benefit of society as a whole.
Toxicity always starts in the mind.
When we have toxic thoughts about our circumstances these thoughts begin to take hold of our habits. When toxicity creeps in, it can begin to affect even our good habits. These toxic thoughts create toxic habits that shift the reality we once knew. The term toxicity has come about more in the last several years as a descriptor for one’s thoughts or actions. For example, a toxic relationship could be one that is harmful to us or negatively affects our happiness or well-being. If we are constantly having negative thoughts about a situation its as if we are hooked up to an IV of poison. The effects over time will be devastating. The areas of life where we once found joy will face the erosion of apathy.
How to recognize toxic habits.
You may be wondering if you have toxic habits that are leading you down a road you do not wish to follow. Are you unknowingly submitting to thoughts that are driving you to choose harmful habits?
I would encourage you to find a quiet place you can sit down and reflect.
I know for many of us this is a foreign concept. Solitude is a word most Americans seldom use. Creating space in your day to reflect upon things that happened to you and your reactions to those happenings can help you gain understanding into your own emotions. If we never slow down enough to think through our responses we will seldom recognize our emotions and most certainly fail to see any toxic or negative thoughts that may frequent our minds.
Find solitude.
Setting aside some time alone in a quiet place away from daily concerns can be helpful.
Taking time to write down seemingly insignificant things that happened throughout the day can help bring feelings to the surface. Write down your feelings about those circumstances. Think about any reactions you had throughout your day and write them down.
Maybe you had an overreaction to something earlier in the day. You could start there.
Write down the overreaction and then work your way back to the circumstance that triggered that reaction. I guarantee that reaction was linked to a negative emotion about the circumstance. Once you have identified some of these toxic thoughts you will be able to reframe them with truth. Once our thoughts are reframed with the truth they will no longer negatively influence our choices.
For example..
Stacy is a middle aged mom of four children who has struggled with her weight after having babies. She runs a busy household and works hard to keep things running smoothly and often neglects caring for her own needs. She often feels like a failure because of not completing her endless list of tasks or because of the way she interacted with her children or husband that day. Most evenings she will crash in front of the television and mindlessly binge on unhealthy snacks to soothe her frustrations with herself.
Stacy began to recognize this toxic habit as a way of coping with her feelings of inadequacy.
She realized this was not beneficial to her long-term goals so she decided to replace the unhealthy snacks with a plate of veggies. Instead of eating to soothe her emotions she chose to end the day fueling her body in preparation for the next day. She will have the energy to better care for those she loves.
Stacy was able to identify the truth about her situation and chose to replace those thoughts and made a realistic step toward changing a bad habit. She chose new habits to shape her reality with positive choices and stepped out of the stuck places.
The problem..
One evening Stacy found herself eating an entire bag of chips on the couch. She knew she had a better option but she was choosing this old habit that she had already overcome. Instead of continuing in defeat, she decided to find a quiet place and think over her day.
How did she end up here?
Stacy realized that it all stemmed from a toxic thought. Earlier that day she had made an unhealthy comparison. Stacy has been exercising and eating more vegetables and seeing results with her clothes fitting better and having more energy. She has lost 20 pounds in 3 months and has been gaining confidence and feeling more comfortable in her own skin. She knows she has another 30-40 pounds left to lose but is happy with her progress. Stacy was satisfied until she started looking around at other people’s journeys.
Comparison fuels defeat.
Stacy has a friend named April. April was never quite as big as Stacy but she started losing weight a few months ago as well. April has also lost 20 pounds and looks amazing. Stacy began thinking thoughts like, “April looks good in a swim suit and has definition in her arms. I still wouldn’t be caught dead in a swimsuit. My arms are saggy and I don’t think I will ever tone up this flab. April seems to be able to eat whatever she wants and still looks incredible. I’m never going to look like that. Why do I try so hard and not really see results?”
Do you see what just happened?
Stacy let one little toxic thought in and look where it took her!
She went from feeling strong and confident to defeated and ready to give up, just like that!
Our thoughts are extremely powerful when it comes to developing or replacing habits. So in turn, Stacy went home that night and slipped right back into an old habit that she had already overcome. All because she believed a lie about herself. This relapse of a bad habit could have been avoided if the toxic thought had been challenged with the truth in that moment. However; if Stacy had not decided to reflect on her day and how she ended up going back to an unhealthy habit she may have just stayed there and her progress would have been lost.
Ladies, our thoughts matter!
Our self-talk is a powerful tool when overcoming and replacing habits.
Because our habits will not let go easily, they must be replaced. Imagine a screaming child holding the toy they think they want. In order to get that toy from their grasp, it will need to be replaced with a much better option. This is the way it goes with our habits. It will take time and persistence to replace bad habits with good choices. As we replace these habits, we will see the reality of our circumstances shift as well.
Stacy had already replaced the bad habit with a much better habit of ending her evening with a plate of veggies instead of a bag of chips. But that one negative thought derailed her progress because she failed to check it at the door and make it submit to the truth.
What truth? You may ask.
Well the truth is that Stacy is pretty amazing.
She has lost 20 pounds by adding a consistent exercise routine and choosing more veggies, over junk food that will not properly fuel her body. She has seen much success and will continue to see more as she stays consistent. That is the truth. The truth is that, yes April has seen success, but that does not negate all the effort Stacy has put forth. Stacy has her own story and she needs to focus on her and living out her own success. Someone else’s success doesn’t need to take away from our own. Like Stacy, we can be proud of our hard work and look forward to more success while recognizing someone else who appears to have reached the end goal of their success. That is the truth.
Application..
Beginning to see these thoughts before they take root is key. Allowing yourself time to reflect on your thoughts will expose places where toxicity may be creeping in and cultivating negativity. If left unchecked, these thoughts will sabotage the progress you have already made by creating bad habits that shape your reality.
Truth always wins.
Speaking the truth in love to yourself and over your circumstances is imperative. Because our habits shape reality, we must inform our habits with the truth. By doing so, we will begin to see progress and gain confidence to continue on the right path. You can change your habits and by doing so, you will change your life.
